“Standard Bitter Love Song #7” reminds us of a time we couldn’t leave a relationship without saying one last horrible thing.

Track: “Standard Bitter Love Song #7”
Album: Zopilote Machine (1994)

There are six songs with “Standard Bitter Love Song” in the title, so far as anyone seems to know. #4, #7, and #8 are on albums, #5 and #6 exist in the corners of the Internet, and #1 is a screaming, stomping fan-favorite that’s seen a revival in the last few years after John Darnielle played it at Farm Sanctuary in 2007. #2 and #3 likely exist, if for no other reason than it’s more likely that they’re real than not, but you never know. Maybe it’s better and stranger if they never turn up.

They’re angry, bitter songs sung from one lover to another. The Alpha Couple songs do a lot of the heavy lifting regarding “bitter” in the Goats catalog, but these seem more like a place for John Darnielle to try out a deeper anger. The title is so on-the-nose that he can get away with being direct. In most of them, the narrator either talks about violence and there’s lots of blood and gnashing of teeth. They’re songs for the specific set of emotions that boil up when you feel like a “standard bitter love song” is exactly what you need.

In #7 the narrator imagines themselves as a fly on the wall earlier, likely in the hopes of seeing what caused “that innocent look” the other lover displays. The love is totally gone here, and it’s summed up best with the most brutal lyric: “I know you’d kill me if you could stand the sight of blood.” The guitar behind it all feels tense and John Darnielle’s snarl persists through both verses. When you’ve made up your mind like this it’s time to leave a relationship, but the standard bitter love songs exist for those final jabs you can’t help but get in first.