“All Rooms Cable A/C Free Coffee” fakes you out with the motel-sign title and sneaks away after just a taste of a story.

Track: “All Rooms Cable A/C Free Coffee”
Album: Martial Arts Weekend (2002)

“All Rooms Cable A/C Free Coffee” is pretty clearly something John Darnielle and/or Franklin Bruno saw on a motel sign. You can run with that and picture this all happening in that motel or you can accept the song’s title as part of the pattern of odd, sometimes unrelated descriptors. I don’t think you’ll find an answer. Judging by my looking, you won’t find anything at all. This one’s never been played live, at least as far as the usual sources are concerned, and the closest thing to commentary about it I can find is a Tumblr post where someone used the lyrics in a drawing they made.

The Extra Glenns/Lens are odd to talk about because they are a side project, but one where John Darnielle sings most of it and the songs rarely stray far from themes of his band proper. This one fits in with that description, as a character observes image after image and feels a sense of impending pressure as they express love and/or longing. It’s extremely familiar territory for a Mountain Goats song, but jazzed up into a fuller sound than the band was experimenting with in 2002.

I’ve always loved this one for that first verse. “Wine and honey // lipstick and spit” is arresting, but “I’m not supposed to think your death wish is cool // but then I see you knocking back tequilas by the pool” is the killer. Tequila should generally only be pluralized in certain situations, and one where someone’s death wish is romanticized is one of them. This one is over so fast, but it definitely leaves you wanting to know more.