Tallahassee

342. Old College Try

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sXTLkjF8bI

The Alpha Couple takes one last look at each other with the slightest memory of the good times in “Old College Try.”

Track: “Old College Try”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

It’s up to you to decide if you feel bad for the Alpha Couple. They get drunk and scream at each other and they persist in misery well past knowing there is no solution for their situation. “I wanna say I’m sorry // for stuff I haven’t done yet” is the sort of thing you say to someone you are not actually sorry about hurting. You know you are going to be one of the characters in “Oceanographer’s Choice” and you know you are possibly the narrator of “No Children.” John Darnielle has said before that people come up to him at live shows to say they are just like the Alpha Couple and he doesn’t know what to do with that. It’s not a thing to aspire to be, but it’s something you sometimes end up as if you aren’t careful.

“Old College Try” is as close as they get to redemption. It goes immediately worse after this and then it ends. This isn’t the last chance to save it, because it’s well past that. This is, however, the moment to recognize that you maybe could have saved it once. “In the way those eyes I’ve always loved illuminate this place // like a trashcan fire in a prison cell // like the searchlights in the parking lots of hell” is exactly this mixture. The narrator cannot actually be sweet, but they are overcome by the memory of why they once wanted to be with this person. The combination of drugs and booze and resentment is too strong now, but there was something beautiful here, once, and it is almost, almost enough just to remember it.

341. See America Right

Alex Russell See America Right, Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

Several drunken bus rides and some brief mentions of much worse things populate “See America Right.”

Track: “See America Right”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

The Mountain Goats Wiki lists more than 250 performances of “See America Right.” It’s been played 15 times, minimum, in Chicago alone. The Mountain Goats have spent somewhere north of eight solid hours playing “See America Right,” the under-two-minutes single from Tallahassee. It’s undeniable in retrospect, but one has to wonder if anyone involved could have imagined that at the time. “No Children” is the standout, obviously, but “See America Right” is the single for a reason.

The guitar is muted but driving, with drums behind it that make you feel like you’re running. John Darnielle delivers the vocals with a robotic drone and some vocal effect that isn’t on any other song I can think of. He embodies one of the Alpha Couple members, furious and drunk, as they meet up with the other one and bring home a case of vodka. Much of the album hints at what happens directly here. It’s such a short song, but it’s the clearest picture of this narrator possible. It’s crammed full of similar, drunk, desperate moments, but it all paints a complete picture.

“I was getting out of jail” does some heavy lifting as a lyric, but “my love is like a dark cloud full of rain // that’s always right there up above you” is as direct as possible outside of the chorus of “No Children.” John Darnielle answered a question about the ending here and explained why it sounds so robotic and terrifying, but if you’ve followed the story to this point you know that it needs to feel like a howl in the night.

340. Peacocks

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQF9Gn95zP4

The Alpha Couple enjoys a diversion and some confusion before the inevitable end in “Peacocks.”

Track: “Peacocks”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

In 2012, John Darnielle tweeted this about “Peacocks” and how the lyrics were originally “way more sexually explicit.” For an album so obsessed with a married couple, there’s very little sexual in the lyrics of Tallahassee. It sounds like we missed an opportunity here, and John Darnielle adding that he’s “totally not joking” is some acknowledgement of how weird it might have been.

What we do have is just a mention of “hands grasping and groping” and the powerful phrase “seizing opportunity right where it lies.” This is after “No Children” and even “See America Right.” We’re well past hope, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a certain kind of love still between the Alpha Couple. John Darnielle says “Peacocks” is about “encroaching dread” but it’s also about that very specific, very distant, kind of love.

The original website for Tallahassee was a marvelous reflection of the themes of the album, with strange videos about Vicodin and haunting game shows and, yes, peacocks in the front yard. Kyle Barbour of The Annotated Mountain Goats includes the whole text of a pamphlet about peacocks that was on that site here, I will call attention to “peacocks mate for life, but one mate will often attempt to kill the other just prior to migration.” It was always going to end badly, but there are moments where the line ticks above zero before that, even if you can’t explain everything all the time.

339. Idylls of the King

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UKfNvxuuus

John Darnielle juxtaposes a soft tune with a creeping message of doom in “Idylls of the King.”

Track: Idylls of the King”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

It is nothing new to call Tallahassee special. It’s a real turning point for John Darnielle, though you could make a case for a half-dozen other albums as the “turning point.” I think something that doesn’t get enough credit is the album’s range, as it goes between screaming, dark rage and almost-wistful melancholy. The narrative barrels on through the Alpha Couple’s marriage as it decays in Florida, but the couple expresses it through songs that ebb and flow.

“Idylls of the King” takes a title from Tennyson, but if it takes more than that I cannot say. The opening verse describes a setting that might be hopeful, but then likens the promise and potential of a new day to clay pigeons to be shot out of the sky. By the second verse, the narrator imagines vultures and locusts surrounding them. Tallahassee as a setting is meant to do a lot of things, but Florida as a mixture of an aspiration and a nightmare is an easy sell even without the failing marriage. This is extreme, but you can see it.

We’re still close to the middle, here. The very next song is “No Children,” where this narrator will no longer hold back, but there’s still some small level of restraint. “How long will we ride this wave out,” they ask, though we know it’s not really going to stop. You don’t say that your dreams are “haunted by armies, armies of ghosts” to anyone that you believe you can build more of a life with, do you? The tune itself may feel light, but the message shows this is as set as the scene can be for the crash that’s coming next.

334. Game Shows Touch Our Lives

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

In one of the best Alpha Couple songs, John Darnielle asks us to consider a difficult evening in “Game Shows Touch Our Lives.”

Track: “Game Shows Touch Our Lives”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

People will talk about “No Children” forever because the chorus is undeniable, but the Alpha Couple has so many memorable moments across Tallahassee. John Darnielle tells the tale of this couple and how they fall into darkness so completely that people often think it’s some form of autobiography. Many of the great albums from this period of the Mountain Goats are, but this is a story that only borrows from real stories. It is real to remember a moment with cheap gin and sad evenings, but it wasn’t John Darnielle’s life at the time. This is the man who wrote “There Will Be No Divorce,” but he didn’t write it about these characters.

“Everything’s gonna be okay soon // maybe tomorrow // maybe the next day,” is one of those sets of lines that could feel underwritten. Most of this one isn’t necessarily that complicated, but it really solidly nails the emotions of a dark, stale room where there’s a very real fear that the morning won’t be any better. “I’m in the mood // the mood for you,” is one of the last moments of love this couple shares, and even that is a slight one. We’re only on track four of the album and already our couple needs gin to make it to the morning.

There were two “hidden” videos released on the website for Tallahassee and this one clearly goes with this song. That video could be funny in the right light, but I suspect if you identify with this song it will hit you the way it’s intended.

316. International Small Arms Traffic Blues

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqX9puXGR_U

Love is likened to many things, but nothing quite so specific as in “International Small Arms Traffic Blues.”

Track: “International Small Arms Traffic Blues”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

The first Mountain Goats album I ever heard was Tallahassee. The highs on that album are high, with “No Children” as the obvious standout and a staple of almost every Mountain Goats show for the last two decades. I once saw him start a show with it as he bellowed it from a balcony and then joined the stage. It’s a crazy song on a crazy album designed to show us the depths of the Alpha Couple.

These are the two characters who wander the United States and fall in and out of love through casinos and diners before they settle down and fester in Tallahassee. There are dozens and dozens of songs about them and their love, but we don’t spend much time on the side of the duo that “International Small Arms Traffic Blues” shows us.

“No Children” only hurts if there were good times. The story of the Alpha Couple only feels punishing if you get to see what daylight looks like. This isn’t a positive song by any stretch, but it does show us a lighter moment or two. We see a similar moment in “Game Shows Touch Our Lives” earlier on Tallahassee, but here it feels less like an attempt to save the good times and more like a eulogy. It’s all different degrees of hopeless or angry after this one, so here’s your last chance to say something nice and maybe, just maybe, to mean it.

303. The House That Dripped Blood

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

Sinister vibes abound on “The House That Dripped Blood” as the Alpha Couple descends into the worst parts of their journey together.

Track: “The House That Dripped Blood”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

“The House That Dripped Blood” could be a book report. The title is from a horror movie. The harmonica at the end is several parts laid on top of each other. The story is about the Alpha Couple and what dark things they get up to in the middle of Tallahassee when it’s all broken bad but every card isn’t on the table yet. Listen to it five times but not six because this is dangerous headspace to hang out in.

But that’s all the basics. Tallahassee is the best Mountain Goats album, though I’m sure John Darnielle would argue with that and most people reading this probably have fierce opinions, as well. It’s the best “album,” I’d say, because it tells a cohesive story and it works front to back. It’s one premise that is explored fully. At this point in the narrative, this is the drinking. “The cellar door is an open throat,” one Alpha tells the other, and we can picture them drinking and wandering around too-dark rooms. It’s horrible and it doesn’t have the hope of the opening songs or the resolve of the final ones.

The last live performance, as far as the Wiki is concerned, was in 2008. The final show opened with “Have to Explode,” one of the best Goats songs to open with, and closed with “Houseguest” into “No Children” into “Wild Sage” into “Palmcorder Yajna,” which is a pretty wild order to do that in. “The House That Dripped Blood” is a vital part of the album, but it feels a little weird to take as a set piece. It’s important as a means to get you from hope to despair, but be careful spending too much time on this part of the journey.

136. First Few Desperate Hours

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , ,

The nervous Alpha Couple pretends it will be okay for the last time in “First Few Desperate Hours.”

Track: “First Few Desperate Hours”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

Tallahassee is the story of the final days of The Alpha Couple, the recently married, miserable, excited, drunken disaster couple that weaves through the Mountain Goats catalog like connective tissue. They are in dozens of songs, but Tallahassee tells of their marriage and attempt to solidify it by moving from Nevada to a run-down house in Florida. It won’t save them. We know that and they know that, but it’s more about the attempt than the possibility of success.

When John Darnielle introduces songs from Tallahassee he talks about how this was never going to work. The couple even knows that, which makes the nervous energy in “First Few Desperate Hours” less hopeful and more cringe-inducing. The Alphas move their things into their new home and they exude fake hope. Their spirits “sag like withering flowers” and “there’s a stomach-churning shift in the way the land lies.” The couple is only two songs into their album and they’ve already totally given up. There will be other attempts in “Game Shows Touch Our Lives” and “Old College Try” but this is the final time that they can pretend it isn’t all tinged with dread.

The emotions here are clear, but the geography is murky. The “bad luck comes in from Tampa” lines throw a wrench in the story that the couple drove from Vegas to their new home, but you shouldn’t think about it too hard. The Tallahassee in this album is an anti-Shangri-La where everything is terrible and should not be confused for the real capital city of Florida. Tampa is far south of Tallahassee, though it’s entirely possible to imagine that the couple wandered deep into Florida and had to double back to their final resting place. That adds an even sadder element to their cross country drive.

119. Alpha Rats Nest

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , ,

The Alpha Couple is on their last legs in “Alpha Rats Nest” but they aren’t quite finished.

Track: “Alpha Rats Nest”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

Tallahassee may take some time to process. When you first hear it, you’re probably going to latch on to “No Children.” That’s perfectly normal. The hook in “No Children” is outstanding and it gets across the message of Tallahassee easier than most other tracks. Subsequent listens will probably highlight the rockers. You might like the dance music of “Southwood Plantation Road” or the chugging anger of “See America Right.” It will depend on your mood and relationship status, but all of Tallahassee will eventually seep into you.

Different people like different Mountain Goats albums, but Tallahassee is likely their best and most complete. It’s the journey of one couple (the Alpha Couple) as they drive from California to Florida to spend their married life together. They love each other and hate each other and something in between that’s closer to how people feel at their worst. They try to save their marriage (sort of) but they mostly pour cheap vodka all over it and glare at each other in the heat. They know it’s all over but they’re so in love with the end of it.

John Darnielle says that “Alpha Rats Nest” was always going to be the last song on the album. The strumming makes it feel like a “fun” song, which is fitting for a song about the end and Tallahassee. It’s not just a divorce album, it’s about how this couple thinks even their end must be dramatic. They’ve just been through “Oceanographer’s Choice” and yelled at each other, and there’s still an end to come after “Alpha Rats Nest.” “Sing for the damage we’ve done,” one says, “and the worse things we’ll both do.” Their actual end is too dark to be a song, so it’s fitting that we leave on a questionably “happy” note.

077. Oceanographer’s Choice

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

Even more than “No Children,” “Oceanographer’s Choice” shows the anger inside the dying relationship of The Alpha Couple.

Track: “Oceanographer’s Choice”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

“Oceanographer’s Choice” is the bridge between “Old College Try” and “Alpha Rats Nest” on Tallahassee. “Old College Try” represents your final attempts to find something worth loving and your inability to do so. “Alpha Rats Nest” is the euphoria you feel at the absolute end when you’ve decided that it’s over and you don’t even care to pretend to save it. There’s a big gap between those two emotions, so “Oceanographer’s Choice” has some heavy lifting to do.

It connects the other two tracks well because it shows how that one drunken night inspires you to say and feel everything you’ve never let yourself say or feel. The Alpha Couple fires a number of warning shots between each other over the album, but the explosion is in “Oceanographer’s Choice.” It’s arguably even angrier than “No Children” and that is saying a helluva lot. Lines like “I don’t mean it when I tell you // that I don’t love you anymore” are the things you say to a person that you can’t take back. This is the end of the sniping and the arguing. This is the end.

Four lines sum the whole thing up: “I don’t know why I’m so persuaded // that if I think things through  // long enough and hard enough // I’ll somehow get to you.” The narrator is finally honest with themselves and understands that they cannot save this patient. In the right mood the song can fuel a snarling disdain, but it can also inspire profound pity. John Darnielle calls it “another love song, sort of” and it’s all in that last line. The character isn’t blaming the other lover. The character understands this was their own doing: “what will I do when I don’t have you // when I finally get what I deserve?”