Unreleased

265. The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones

Alex Russell Unreleased , , , , , , , , ,

“The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones” is about what you think it’s about.

Track: “The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones”
Album: Unreleased (Released on Soundcloud by Rian Johnson in 2017)

The Mountain Goats song “The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones” is about a Jedi who eats everyone else’s bones. There’s a powerful urge in me to make this entire entry just that sentence, but there is more to say.

The title really does tell you what you’re dealing with, but it’s worth explaining the story. When The Last Jedi was announced, John Darnielle joked that his song “The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones” wasn’t accepted as part of the movie. The title was pretty clearly a joke, but director Rian Johnson told him he had to write it and because John Darnielle is who he is, he did.

I don’t think the content of “The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones” needs much discussion. It’s in the same vein as “Foreign Object” and “Beach House” as a “funny” song, but one that’s mostly funny because you don’t expect it to be delivered the way it is. “Specifically just their bones,” the narrator insists, and says over and over that this Jedi is going to eat their bones. It’s hard to miss, but the repetitions of something you already know is part of the joke of so many Mountain Goats songs.

He’s played it twice, that I can find, since releasing it himself and it seems safe to say those two might be the only two performances. In one he joked that he hoped someone would delete the recording, but conceded that he knows people don’t operate like that. The other performance tells the whole story of how Rian Johnson and John Darnielle got to know each other, and if you’re interested in such things you should check it out.

260. All Devils Here Now

Alex Russell Unreleased , , , , , , , , ,

The neighbors look in on the Alpha Couple in “All Devils Here Now.”

Track: “All Devils Here Now”
Album: Unreleased (Released on Twitter by John Darnielle in 2012)

John Darnielle released “All Devils Here Now” himself on Twitter and said it “shares psychic & geographic space with all the other stuff I was writing about in 2002 & 2003.” Even if he didn’t offer that directly, you’d pick out the Alpha Couple from the story.

Most of the songs about the ill-fated couple in Tallahassee, Florida focus on how they fall in and out of love with each other as they realize this isn’t going to work. It’s rare to get an outsider’s perspective, but “All Devils Here Now” shows us what it’s like to live next to these people and consider their existence without all the details. From what we know, these neighbors see enough, but lines like “you see us at the grocery store // you wonder what we’re shopping for” are evocative. Who among us hasn’t felt that?

The few live versions that exist don’t do justice to the song, for my money. The bugs in the background are real, as John Darnielle confirmed when he released the song, and live it becomes more jaunty than the demo. The demo has the feel of being on the back porch with these two and hearing them tell you these things. There’s an element of self awareness to the delivery mechanism. The Alpha Couple always knows they are doomed and what sets them apart is usually their willingness to engage with that fact, if only internally. They don’t embrace the darkness until the end, which puts this probably closer to the end of the trajectory, but “shrieks and squeals” and “worse for wear” could describe any weekend with these two.

169. Short Song for Justin Bieber and His Paparazzi

Alex Russell Unreleased , , , , , , ,

John Darnielle conveys a powerful message in what initially seems like a joke.

Track: “Short Song for Justin Bieber and His Paparazzi”
Album: Unreleased (Uploaded online by John Darnielle in 2013)

If you’re going to consider every song from the band that wrote “Dance Music,” “This Year,” and “No Children” then you have a lot of work to do. As you go, you may wonder if a short song released potentially as a joke should be on a list of “official songs.” I draw the distinction at anything John Darnielle has released or considers a release, which can be murky and if you disagree then I totally get it.

“Short Song for Justin Bieber and His Paparazzi” is a response to an incident where Justin Bieber got in a fight with some people who were following him around for a story. John Darnielle isn’t Justin Bieber, but you can imagine him seeing both sides and wanting to briefly explore the perspective of being dogged by people who want nothing more than a disaster.

“It’s hard to feel sorry for the very rich,” John Darnielle says, “but even a rich guy needs some space.” The song quickly gets to the point as he says “don’t be an asshole” and ultimately concludes with “try not to be an asshole.”

It’s just a silly song, or would be without the final message. “Are there bigger problems in the world, yes // abortion’s legal, but not everybody has access” is a powerful set of lines. John Darnielle’s public political views focus on equal rights, reproductive rights, and animal rights passionately, and it’s interesting that he’d use a joke song to remind us to think about what actually matters. But then, at the end, he ties it all back to the thesis: be it Bieber or something more important, just don’t be an asshole.

168. The Big Unit

Alex Russell Unreleased , , , , , , , ,

The unreleased “The Big Unit” reinforces the idea of looking on the bright side, even when it’s someone else’s.

Track: “The Big Unit”
Album: Unreleased (Uploaded to the forums by John Darnielle in 2009)

Randy Johnson was one of the greatest pitchers in baseball. He was huge at 6’10” and when he ran into a teammate by accident the teammate called him a “big unit.” That’s not really how people talk, but you can see how it would stick. There are worse nicknames.

In 2009, John Darnielle uploaded “The Big Unit” to the Mountain Goats forums and asked people who listened to it to donate to p:ear, an organization in Portland that supports homeless youth. We Shall All Be Healed gives you all the context you need about why John Darnielle feels passionately about an organization like that, so after they reached out to him it’s easy to see why he wanted to offer up an old cassette outtake to spur his fans to donate.

The song doesn’t need to tie directly back to homeless youths, but it’s easy to see some connection. Our narrator expresses financial woes in grand terms like the bond market and Swiss gold, but these are likely stand-ins for other risks. As the character reflects on watching the “hypodermic needles come in with the tide” we get another glimpse into their Portland (or California, but let’s say Portland). They’re worried about loan sharks from Chicago, too, and you tend to wonder if they’ve made smaller, more short-term purchases than Swiss gold.

Either way, there’s a charming neutrality to “but Randy Johnson throws a baseball 97 miles an hour // and I’m gonna be all right.” These thoughts are disconnected, which makes the word choice of “and” rather than “so” deliberate. Randy Johnson’s baseball acumen isn’t going to save this person, but you cling to anyone’s success and hope it inspires your own when you’re down and out.

085. There Will Always Be an Ireland

Alex Russell Jack and Faye, Unreleased , , , , , , , ,

“There Will Always Be an Ireland” has multiple interpretations, but it’s always about a quiet moment between two people.

Track: “There Will Always Be an Ireland”
Album: Jack and Faye (Unreleased, recorded 1995 or 1996)

Jack and Faye was never released, but it was released online and can still be downloaded. The album consists of four songs with John Darnielle on guitar and Rachel Ware on bass. The album is also the last full release with Rachel on bass before Peter Hughes took over full time, so it acts as a turning point in the band’s history. John and Rachel have said that “time has given [the songs] a somewhat melancholy air,” and you can take from that what you will.

The bulk of the song is a repetition of the song’s title and given the different inflections it sounds alternatively sweet and insistent. You can take it to be a revolutionary ballad referencing the struggle against foreign rule or you can depoliticize it and view it as a love song; the fervor works either way. The first verse sets up two young lovers either way, the second verse contrasts a “silent hour” with “worthless words,” and the third verse blankly lays out “what we did” and “the things we said.” All three work for both interpretations, but both interpretations leave you wanting to know more.

“There Will Always Be an Ireland” is right at home on Jack and Faye because it is more about the feeling it instills than the meaning behind it. The band has become more polished — you can hear Rachel talking quietly during the second verse before the chorus comes in — but that doesn’t always mean that they’re “better” now. People will debate until the end of time if the lo-fi Goats were better and I don’t think that’s answerable, but I do think they were undeniably raw in an interesting way. Whatever you take from this song, you’ll definitely feel something unique.

061. Adair

Alex Russell Jack and Faye, Unreleased , , , , , , , ,

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJqY9lC-XpM

“Adair” is a wavering, quiet love song about the kind of moment you remember for the rest of your life.

Track: “Adair”
Album: Jack and Faye (Unreleased, recorded 1995 or 1996)

The title of Jack and Faye comes from the stars of Chinatown. John Darnielle never released it, but you can download it freely from the Goats’ website and the standout “Raid on Entebbe” gets played live from time to time. If you’re a fan, all of those details combine to form a mythos that’s undeniable. Chinatown has a strangeness about it despite being one of the greatest films of all time and the Goats are very particular about what they release and don’t release. That should pique your interest for a love song on such an album.

In the interest of disclosure, “Adair” has always been one of my favorite love songs. The specificity of a scar that “runs clear from your temple to your jawline” and “the blazing dead center of July” create a clear picture of two lovers who have spent a lot of time together. They know the contours of their lover perfectly, and we all have that memory of one small imperfection of another person that made them feel special.

There is so much longing in “Adair.” The line “all my hopes hung on one gorgeous promise” is dripping with sentiment and it’s impossible to remain unmoved when you hear it. John Darnielle delivers the song with a wavering, quiet tone and it may not strike you if you’re not in the right mood. But if you listen to “Adair” when you’re feeling wistful, it will signal boost that emotion perfectly. “I want to tell you what the sky has done to me // I want you to tell me who we are” is the kind of sentiment that might seem sappy in the wrong place, but in “Adair” it will remind you of a forgotten moment with someone you absolutely never forget.

 

028. Counting Song For Bitter Children

Alex Russell Unreleased , , , , , , ,

 

A direct release from John Darnielle, “Counting Song For Bitter Children” is exactly what it sounds like.

Track: “Counting Song For Bitter Children”
Album: Unreleased (Uploaded to the forums by John Darnielle in 2007)

Since it’s 50% “na-na-na-na-na,” “Counting Song for Bitter Children” probably doesn’t require as much lyrical examination as most of the songs in the catalog, but the lyrics are an interesting footnote. The song itself came out of the official forums, when a person listed the opening lines as an example of unforgettable Goats lyrics. John Darnielle himself stepped in and said that he barely remembered the lyrics himself. It existed in the way a lot of songs like “Song for Roger Maris” exist, in that they are mostly talked about rather than actually listened to or performed.

John went on to record himself playing what he remembered of it and put it up online, so now there’s an “official” version of “Counting Song for Bitter Children.” It’s a testament to both John’s relationship with the fanbase and with the older parts of the catalog that he was inspired to record a decade-plus old song just in an attempt to remember it and share it. The result is a very quick, old-school Mountain Goats song with the line “good children get nothing” in it.

It’s a funny song, though “funny” as a concept for a Mountain Goats song is a concept we’ll have to get into later. The early Goats songs are “funny” at times, but like “Counting Song for Bitter Children” they largely use humor to conceal some darkness in a character. This one is an angry person talking to someone that they’re finished with. The message, and even the song itself, doesn’t matter nearly as much as the delivery.

003. Raid on Entebbe

Alex Russell Jack and Faye, Unreleased , , , , , , , ,

The title of the song tells you where you are, but it’s all about the general intensity for “Raid on Entebbe”

Track: “Raid on Entebbe”
Album: Jack and Faye (Unreleased, recorded 1995 or 1996)

The title is clear: Raid on Entebbe is a 1977 television movie about a real-life raid on a Ugandan airport in Entebbe. You can get caught up in the life of Idi Amin and what the title means, but let’s look closer.

There’s Rachel Ware, but she’s in the background now. She doesn’t even sing most of the first verse, it’s all John until the last two lines. It’s frenetic, but controlled. Everything about “Raid on Entebbe” contributes to the idea that the speaker is intense and hurried, but they’re definitely comfortable with the way they interact with the world. “They always do this when I come home” comes off as almost bothered, even though they’re talking about regime change. It would be too much for us, but our song’s hero is too busy to care.

“Incredibly, impossibly dry air” is a very John line. Everything is more powerful when it’s more specific, and even without the location in the title you can feel that air. You can imagine yourself standing outside, tucking your shirt in and hoping that the world doesn’t end around you. The lyrics take a backseat, though, which is rare in a Goats song. It’s one of the shortest songs in the catalog, but it’s even shorter lyrically. There are 65 seconds of lyrics and roughly 160 words in the whole song. That’s essentially unheard of for the man that fit “I threw a rock at a crow who was playing in the mulch of some rosebushes by the motel office” in one line in “Distant Stations,” but “Raid on Entebbe” is all about feeling. It’s not about what actually happens, but it’s about the Goats making you feel anxious. Every listen will make you reach for a watch that you don’t wear.