Some might say “Never Quite Free” is misunderstood, but it serves a greater purpose when read a different way.

Track: “Never Quite Free”
Album: All Eternals Deck (2011) and All Survivors Pack (2011)

I have a set list from a show I saw a few years ago where “Never Quite Free” was the final song before the mid-show solo break that John Darnielle does. It’s listed as “NQF” with a full-page line after it to show the delineation. I remember that performance, with John Darnielle smiling and beaming as he belted the lyrics. He’s spoken about it a lot, often saying that fans think it’s a liberating, positive experience, but it’s about not being able to ever escape something. It’s right in the title, right there, clearly, that you will never get free. The contrast between the message and how people seem to receive it is something we’ve talked about a lot in this series, but this is an interesting one because I don’t think it’s as purely opposite as the others.

You can’t get free of your past, but the freedom comes from acknowledging that. Watching John Darnielle close his eyes and tell a few hundred people in a dark club that they are not going to escape whatever they hope will eventually fade away should be a kind of terrifying experience, but it’s liberating to own whatever you cannot cast off. “Wish me well where I go,” Darnielle says, “but when you see me, you’ll know.” He’s not literally talking about himself, but that’s often how I hear it in this context. The Mountain Goats are a different thing to everyone, but if you really love songs like “Never Quite Free,” part of it is that even the infinite fear in yourself can be contextualized. What a gift that is.