songs

081. Choked Out

Alex Russell Beat the Champ , , , , , , ,

 

“Choked Out” describes a wrestler being choked, but it forces the listener to consider what we do when we’re desperate.

Track: “Choked Out”
Album: Beat the Champ (2015)

Much like how “the drugs album” isn’t only about drugs and “the Bible album” isn’t at all about the Bible, Beat the Champ is only tangentially about wrestling. The album delights in the language and characters of wrestling, but as John Darnielle says it’s about the difficulties of life. Even the EP released right after the album works this way: “Blood Capsules” is directly about a wrestler who can’t make ends meet despite being willing to do anything. That makes it a nice companion piece for “Choked Out,” a more in-the-moment examination of the same idea.

At a show in New York, Darnielle talked about how the song destroys his voice. It’s not really the kind of song the band writes as much these days. It’s an explosion, and after two minutes you’re left to consider what the flurry of words represents. As they are choked, Darnielle’s narrator describes the process and why they’re okay with it. A horrified nurse realizes they’re going beyond the bounds of what wrestlers should do, and the reality is that if you don’t fight within the “rules” when you wrestle you can do serious damage to yourself. In that sense, “fake” or “real” doesn’t really matter. The result may be scripted, but you have to put on a show without hurting yourself to get to the result.

They know the crowd wants to see something that looks real and they’re willing to oblige them at the cost of his consciousness. “Everybody has their limits // nobody’s found mine,” they tell us, establishing a willingness to do whatever it takes to put on a show. The crowd screams “like hounds in the heat of the chase” and the wrestler continues to describe representations of death. The ultimate sadness of the song: it’s all for $200.

080. Downtown Seoul

Alex Russell Sweden , , , , , , ,

With a simple, but strange, description, “Downtown Seoul” offers a brief look at love that’s better than any pop song.

Track: “Downtown Seoul”
Album: Sweden (1995)

Is Sweden the best Mountain Goats record? A lot of fans contend that it is, and I think they’ve got a good case. The album opens with the extremely brutal “The Recognition Scene” and follows up with “Downtown Seoul.” Songs like “The Mess Inside” and “Half Dead” might be rougher, but there is no harder one-two punch in the catalog than the two songs that open up Sweden.

Every song on Sweden has a Swedish sentence written next to it in the liner notes. For “Downtown Seoul” it is very simple: “He is younger than me.” The meaning of some of the Swedish sentences is tough to decipher, but this one seems to suggest that the song may be about John Darnielle himself. It predates the autobiographical records like The Sunset Tree, but it’s easy to see how Darnielle sympathizes with his narrator here. In the first verse their beloved walks across a square in Seoul. They are consumed by the moment. “As the rest of my life went by,” they say.

What makes this song so wonderful is the specificity. Most love songs talk about generic love, but the Mountain Goats offer you a moment where a person takes another’s finger in their mouth and rests it lightly on their tongue. It sounds strange, but you know what it means. We are all different and we cannot totally explain the best moments of our lives to other people, because they were not there. “I remember your eyelids,” they say, and we also remember something extremely exact and indescribable about someone we loved in a place far away from our present.

079. 1 John 4:16

Alex Russell The Life of the World to Come , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Bible verse and the Mountain Goats song “1 John 4:16” talk about sources of love, but with very different results.

Track: “1 John 4:16”
Album: The Life of the World to Come (2009)

The Life of the World to Come is certainly well-loved now, but it’s impossible to forget how out of left field it felt when it came out. In most of the interviews that led up to the release John Darnielle defended his choice to write an entire album based on verses from the Bible and tried to explain what it meant to him. It’s hard to describe succinctly, but Darnielle’s description of it being more about “hard lessons” from the Bible and less about actual Christianity is a good place to start.

While the Mountain Goats had plenty of biblical history before The Life of the World to Come (as has been written about at length in this amazing article), the album at first appears to be a whole new level of dedication. It only seems that way from the track list. Aside from the title, there isn’t anything directly biblical about “1 John 4:16.” The verse is about how love comes from God and how faith and love cannot be experienced separately. The song is much darker, though it also deals with love. The narrator is trapped, first in a “holding tank” (though they do say they built it themselves) and then in just a “cell” (though they are led out of it).

The tone here, like the message on much of The Life of the World to Come, is pensive. The narrator is trapped and afraid, but is comforted somewhat by rain-inspired thoughts of a loved one. The delivery of “I know you’re thinking of me // because it’s just about to rain” is wonderfully delicate, but it’s the piano that makes the song work. Live performances have become more and more about the piano portion, and songs like “1 John 4:16” are exactly why.

078. Faithless Bacchant Song

Alex Russell Bitter Melon Farm , , , , , , ,

In the very silly “Faithless Bacchant Song,” a presumably drunk character battles a toad that talks.

Track: “Faithless Bacchant Song”
Album: Bitter Melon Farm (1999)

There is much to love about the fun little song that is “Faithless Bacchant Song.” It’s part of the original “funny” songs that John Darnielle sometimes wrote in the early days. There are still remnants of that old style in the modern Goats songs, notably the “I personally will stab you in the eye” line in “Foreign Object.” If you get the jokes, you enjoy them. If you don’t, then maybe a song where a numbered toad speaks to a man in a clearing just isn’t going to work for you.

Bitter Melon Farm is a compilation album which includes a lot of hard-to-find Goats songs from the first years of the band. John Darnielle says in the liner notes that he feels compelled to not re-release material because it removes the skill of finding those gems on other albums. It’s similar to a story he tells about including great songs on foreign releases, just to be devious and hide some of his best work. It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, but Darnielle says this song forced his hand on the re-release because the original version had bacchant spelled with one c. He couldn’t let the world think he didn’t know how to spell “bacchant,” which is a follower of Bacchus, the god of wine.

The song is genuinely funny. “Somewhere in the damn forest” is an all-time-great opening line and “fire-bellied toad number five // from what may or may not have been a limited series” is a beautifully specific absurdity. It all leads to a stanza from a folk song about playing with a friend, but the real gem is the ending. It’s a shame this doesn’t get some weird, one-off live play, because “honey it was downright creepy” deserves to be heard yelled from a stage.

077. Oceanographer’s Choice

Alex Russell Tallahassee , , , , , , , ,

Even more than “No Children,” “Oceanographer’s Choice” shows the anger inside the dying relationship of The Alpha Couple.

Track: “Oceanographer’s Choice”
Album: Tallahassee (2002)

“Oceanographer’s Choice” is the bridge between “Old College Try” and “Alpha Rats Nest” on Tallahassee. “Old College Try” represents your final attempts to find something worth loving and your inability to do so. “Alpha Rats Nest” is the euphoria you feel at the absolute end when you’ve decided that it’s over and you don’t even care to pretend to save it. There’s a big gap between those two emotions, so “Oceanographer’s Choice” has some heavy lifting to do.

It connects the other two tracks well because it shows how that one drunken night inspires you to say and feel everything you’ve never let yourself say or feel. The Alpha Couple fires a number of warning shots between each other over the album, but the explosion is in “Oceanographer’s Choice.” It’s arguably even angrier than “No Children” and that is saying a helluva lot. Lines like “I don’t mean it when I tell you // that I don’t love you anymore” are the things you say to a person that you can’t take back. This is the end of the sniping and the arguing. This is the end.

Four lines sum the whole thing up: “I don’t know why I’m so persuaded // that if I think things through  // long enough and hard enough // I’ll somehow get to you.” The narrator is finally honest with themselves and understands that they cannot save this patient. In the right mood the song can fuel a snarling disdain, but it can also inspire profound pity. John Darnielle calls it “another love song, sort of” and it’s all in that last line. The character isn’t blaming the other lover. The character understands this was their own doing: “what will I do when I don’t have you // when I finally get what I deserve?”

 

076. Hello There Howard

Alex Russell Hot Garden Stomp , , , , , ,

“Hello There Howard” finds a sneering indifference in a narrator who is endlessly throwing dice at a craps table. 

Track: “Hello There Howard”
Album: Hot Garden Stomp (1993)

Someone asked John Darnielle if any songs from Hot Garden Stomp would ever be played live again. He gave a very thorough response, song by song, about all of them. He says that “Pure Milk” and the title track are the only ones he does play live, but he leaves the door open with regard to many of the others. “Hello There Howard” earns a “probably no” from the man that wrote it.

The world loves to speculate about these songs, so my job is partly done for me for all but the strangest and oldest songs in the catalog. “Hello There Howard,” as far as I can tell, has exactly no other words written about it online aside from “probably no” from John Darnielle. There is one positive YouTube comment, but that’s it. It’s just not a song that people seem interested in breaking down.

The straightforward ones can be the most difficult. The narrator is clearly at a craps table in a casino and is met by a sad character who asks the narrator to throw the dice. A craps table turns immediately on the wrong throw, but the narrator says “the table is hot // and so am I” and things are going well.

Darnielle loves placing his characters in destructive situations, and a casino is a purely destructive place. Casinos are designed to keep you in them perpetually and to keep you focused on the games. Even if you do win, the reasoning goes, eventually you will lose it all back. The narrator in “Hello There Howard” concludes that it doesn’t even matter what the result of the throw is, and in so doing finds the only way to really survive their actions. They don’t care anymore what happens, which is a very Goats-narrator move.

075. Ezekiel 7 and the Permanent Efficacy of Grace

Alex Russell The Life of the World to Come , , , , , , , , , ,

In “Ezekiel 7 and the Permanent Efficacy of Grace,” two people drive through the desert in their final real moments.

Track: “Ezekiel 7 and the Permanent Efficacy of Grace”
Album: The Life of the World to Come (2009)

Sometimes you have to listen to dozens of live performances of a song to find out how John Darnielle views it, but sometimes you just have to look at his Tumblr. He’s been very forthcoming with his reasoning for why he won’t play “Going to Georgia” anymore: it’s a song that romanticizes stalking and emotional violence towards someone you love. Recently a fan asked him why he wouldn’t play that song but would play “Ezekiel 7 and the Permanent Efficacy of Grace,” a song about a man kidnapping and torturing another man. Darnielle says he doesn’t see the connection and that the point of “Ezekiel 7” is that it’s nakedly about a bad event. “Going to Georgia” can be interpreted as “sweet” if you have a black enough heart, and he doesn’t want anyone to get that out of it.

“Ezekiel 7 and the Permanent Efficacy of Grace” closes out The Life of the World to Come on a really dark moment. The events in the song are straightforward and it ends with an eerie heartbeat, suggesting that the victim is still alive for now but won’t be for long. The background effects on the album really amplify the terrifying scene, but Darnielle’s live piano version has just as much pain. It’s not a traditional Goats song, but the message is one they preach a lot: dark behavior meets with dark ends.

The source material of Ezekiel 7 is the story of the end of the world through God’s wrath. The song is the literal end of one person, but also the figurative end of the other as they die to themselves through their choices. Like “Going to Georgia,” the main character is the one doing literal damage, but the worst violence that happens is internal.

074. Dance Music

Alex Russell The Sunset Tree , , , , , , ,

The crowd-favorite “Dance Music” uses two different sad stories to make the same point: you must endure.

Track: “Dance Music”
Album: The Sunset Tree (2005)

The Sunset Tree is the true story of John Darnielle’s upbringing and the abuse he suffered from his stepfather. The album is filled with rage and sadness, but Darnielle has said consistently that the message he wants to convey is that everyone can survive. The liner notes on the album are uncharacteristically short and conclude with three lines: “you are going to make it out of there alive // you will live to tell your story // never lose hope.”

“Lion’s Teeth” is a revenge story and there are moments on The Sunset Tree (and elsewhere) where Darnielle is justifiably furious at his now-dead stepfather. In “Dance Music” he’s still in the moment. He’s just a child in the first verse when violence drives him upstairs to drown out his unhappy home with music. Darnielle has said his mother doesn’t remember the story the way he tells it, but the specifics aren’t as important as the world he describes.

Much has been said of that first verse and how clear the image is, but “Dance Music” has always been about the second verse for me. In live performances he names the woman who is “the last best thing I’ve got going” with the “special secret sickness.” He’s seventeen now and he can’t help Jackie. Both verses are stories of helplessness, but the first one is an external force (his stepfather) and the second is an internal one (addiction). They’re both high and sad and he knows this is a problem, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. The saddest element is the selfishness. What he’s really worried about isn’t solving her problems, it’s that he doesn’t want to die alone. The John of this story still has to get worse before he’s going to get better.

 

073. Whole Wide World

Alex Russell Sweden , , , , , , ,

“Whole Wide World” is a simple look at a child in a tree and some contemplative respite on a really brutal album.

Track: “Whole Wide World”
Album: Sweden (1995)

At a show in Brooklyn in 2008, John Darnielle opened with “Whole Wide World.” It’s not a particularly rare or surprising song — the name of the “Everything Else” section of the band’s forums is named after it — but it’s a very odd opener. The Goats usually open with a ton of noise or an album-starter that has a natural lead in. “Whole Wide World” is a very quiet song from Sweden. It’s very beautiful and slow, with just one child in a tree and their thoughts as they deal with the cold wind and the snow. It’s very open-ended and tougher to break down than most of the character studies on other albums.

Sweden is a thinker. “Tollund Man” and “Going to Bolivia” have specific characters and their last real moments. “The Recognition Scene” and “California Song” are all-time greats that look backwards at love and life when things were either better or just different and it’s hard to say which. There’s a lot of pain in the “love songs” like “Downtown Seoul,” and songs like “Whole Wide World” can come off as just connective tissue between the more heartrending stuff. It can seem like just a sweet picture of a child alone in the wilderness, but Darnielle’s voice — almost a whisper, in contrast to the screaming pain of the end of the album — elevates it. At that show he played it in response to a scream for “Golden Boy.” It’s a big faux pas to yell for “Golden Boy,” and Darnielle plays its exact opposite. “C’mon, yell for “Golden Boy” again just so I can say no again,” Darnielle says. It’s not abuse, it’s a reminder that the Goats have wide range and that you’ve got to appreciate the peace just as much as the fury.

072. Alpha Sun Hat

Alex Russell Zopilote Machine , , , , , , , , ,

“Alpha Sun Hat” talks about human sacrifice of two different sorts as the Alpha Couple takes stock in Florida.

Track: “Alpha Sun Hat”
Album: Zopilote Machine (1994)

It’s natural to feel a certain affection for the songs the band loves best. John Darnielle has said “Alpha Sun Hat” is one of his favorite songs to play live and you can really hear that in the few recordings available online. The studio version is quick and driving while the live one slows down the opening verse. On the album the entire song has an intensity to it, but that first verse is deliberately delivered with a quieter tone live. He almost whispers some lines, which gives the poetry of “and I’d like to give in to your oboe-reed voice” a different meaning. When spoken quietly over light strumming and bass it sounds like the final moments of love where someone isn’t quite finished. It’s a familiar space for two lovers in a Goats song and it’s definitely where the Alpha Couple is during “Alpha Sun Hat.”

The album version is the same through both verses, but the reason to seek out a live one is for the build of second verse. The line works in both versions, but “that’s not music you hear, that’s the devil” really needs to be a tonal shift to work best. Darnielle yells it (though compared to some other songs, “yells” might be the wrong word) just as one Alpha character changes their mind about their lover. The Aztecs believed they had to remove the heart to send victorious warriors to eternal glory, and the heart-rending here is only slightly less literal. “If you’re planning your escape, you know I’m all for you” is a line that you can unpack any way you like, but the closing line’s reveal of Tallahassee as the setting means that it might be meant as an empty gesture, since neither of them have the will to leave.