We only get one side of the story (and not the important side) in the troubling “Pseudothyrum Song.”

Track: “Pseudothyrum Song”
Album: Isopanisad Radio Hour (2000)

Pseudothyrum means “secret door” and is a word you will never hear in any other context for the rest of your life. John Darnielle opened with “Pseudothyrum Song” at a show in 1999. He walked on stage, introduced himself as Rumpelstiltskin, demanded the child that was promised to him, and said that he had no idea why this new song was called “Pseudothyrum Song.” After it ended, he explained that he was actually John, and hello, and then played other songs.

“Pseudothyrum Song” is one that you hope you’ll never identify with in your own life. One character tells another one that they need to get over some emotional baggage so they can move on in their relationship. They may be lovers or friends, but they keep running into problems because of this previous damage. “I think someone was mean to you, for a long, long time,” he says. It’s certainly “he” because this is one of the few songs where a narrator identifies their gender.

Maybe that’s a mistake and maybe it isn’t. John Darnielle says that he deliberately leaves gender ambiguous for his characters so that they can fit the mold you need. In this case, our narrator tells us “I am not that guy” as he describes the supposed aggressor in the other character’s past. We can infer much from this song and it’s up to you how you choose to take it. It’s uncomfortable no matter how you spin it. Sure, this is a different human being than the one that hurt the other character, but the more you listen to it the more you’ll sympathize with the other person.