“Beach House” is about the danger of seals (yes, seals), but it’s also about how love clouds our judgement.

Track: “Beach House”
Album: Hot Garden Stomp (1993)

The typical Mountain Goats song is about a miserable and/or lonely person processing one or more events that have led them to their current state. This is an oversimplification, but the themes of loneliness, displacement, and fear about not making great use of time and relationships are consistent in the catalog.

It hasn’t always been that way. The early Mountain Goats albums have more “funny” songs, which is always the way John Darnielle describes them. He’s told a story several times on stage about playing songs at an open mic in his early days and hearing someone tell their friend that “this guy is funny.” Obviously present-day John Darnielle doesn’t want to be known that way, but the songs exist all the same. He appreciates the fans and understands the devotion to the “old stuff,” so every now and again he digs into the back catalog and plays something like “Beach House.”

“Beach House” is about seals. The beat is catchy, but really the song will stick with you because 11 of the 16 lines include the word “seal.” The narrator is insistent with someone that they need to respect the power and hatred that is innate in seals. That probably sounds ridiculous to you, but you really need to hear it to believe it. “Now when I say that the seal is vicious, I use the term advisedly,” is a truly inspired line.

John Darnielle says this narrator is “neurotic, but not psychotic” and that they want someone they love to not move away. Many early Goats narrators are in love and don’t know how to express it well, but I can’t think of a worse plan than “you can’t leave me, what if the seals get you?”